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Erm, yes, well,

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since you were last here,
we had some very sad news.

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About a month ago...
...Michael Slugette - Slugs...

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...unfortunately passed away
after a long battle with his health.

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Yeah, it was really sad.

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Like, there was so many times
that you'd think,

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"This has gotta be it now, surely?"

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And then he'd get a second wind.

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Yeah.

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And then a third wind and a fourth wind.

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I actually lost count of how many winds
he had by the end,

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but I think he was on something like
his 26th wind.

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Yeah.

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And we saw him not long before
he passed away, didn't we?

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Yeah.

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The last words he ever said to us was,

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"Do you guys fancy doing
a zombie escape room

19
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"in Swindon on Saturday?"

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But, unfortunately, he passed away
on the Friday, didn't he?

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Yeah.

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Which was sort of a relief, in a way.

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Yeah.

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Bless him.

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It's weird,
because I didn't think that I'd miss him,

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but I actually really miss him.

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Kerry! Griff's here!

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Yeah. Yeah.

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Right, here's your packed lunch.

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Cheers.

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Yes, it has been
a sad time for everyone,

32
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but in Kerry's case,

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I'm absolutely delighted
she's started this new job.

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It's given her a real sense of purpose
at a very difficult time.

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One, two, three and commence.

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Turn on the crusher.

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Yeah, due to some

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unforeseen financial issues,

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work was sort of forced upon me,

40
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and I ended up getting a job
at the recycling centre.

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Basically, she got herself
massively in debt,

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and I had to bail her out.

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Ended up having to use money
that Nan lent me to invest in Bitcoins...

44
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...and if she finds out
I lent it to Kerry,

45
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she'll go absolutely spare.

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So, yeah, I'll be needing that money back
as soon as possible.

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Yeah, I saw a gap in the market

48
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for pillow-stuffing,

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so I basically went out

50
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and bought an alpaca off Gumtree for £500.

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Of all the mistakes I've made in my life,

52
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that was possibly the largest.

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Definitely the physically largest.

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Yeah, I really don't wanna talk
about that,

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rake all that back up,
if that's OK with you?

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Yeah.

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Welcome to the recycling centre.

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You've got your metals,

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your cardboard, your green waste,

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your household batteries,

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light bulbs, fluorescent tubes.

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Over here,
welcome to my world of textiles.

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We've got curtains, clothing,
shoes, bed linen.

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- There you've got Simple John there.
- All right?

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We've got Trigger over here.

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He's always on green waste.
Ain't you, Trigs?

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We call him a white man's Dennis Rodman.
Take a look at his face.

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Trigger?

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Into the camera.

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White Dennis Rodman, or what?

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That's uncanny, that.

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Kerry's never kept a job
longer than three days,

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so I've just been helping out at hers,

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making sure she's got no excuses,
so I can get that money back asap.

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So, yeah, I've just been
cooking her meals at home,

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making sure the house is straight,

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that sort of thing,
because, let's be honest,

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HMS Lard Arse up there
ain't gonna be doing it.

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Shit, that reminds me.

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Sue?

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Do you need turning over?

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All right. Give me a sec.

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All right, back in a minute.

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Here she comes, the weary worker.

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Just in time.

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You hungry?

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Starving.

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Excellent. How was work?

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Er, just work.

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Yeah.

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- That's it.
- When's food?

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Just coming. I'll get you a plate.

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What are we having?

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Er, sausage, mash and peas.

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Lovely jubbly.

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I was lucky with them sausages, Ker.

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£1.50 down from £2.50.

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Got there just in time as the woman
was reducing them, Ker.

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Yeah?

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One sausage, two sausage,
three sausage, four sausage

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and a good dollop-ful of mash.

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Don't forget the peas.
Lovely, these peas, 25p a tin.

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25p a tin, Ker...

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Kurtan, can we have less narration
of the food

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and more bringing out the food?

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Absolutely. Understood, understood.

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Here we go. Dinner's served.

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- You wanna eat it on your lap?
- Yeah.

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Just put another cushion there. Come on.

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There you go, knife and fork there.

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- Cheers.
- Let me know if you need anything else.

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See that bag down there?

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Yeah?

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- There's something for you in it.
- For me?

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A foot spa?

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Yeah, I picked it up from the dump.

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Are-Are you sure?

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Well, it was either give it to you
or give it to the charity shop.

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That is so... That's amazing.

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That's weird you got me one of these

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because I was literally talking to Carol
about... about foot spas the other day,

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because she said she used one
and it sorted her feet right out.

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She had proper hard, hard heels,
that was the problem...

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Kurtan!

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I'm just trying to watch the telly here.

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Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

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That is...

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That's in good nick, that one, as well.

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Happy with that.

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Can't get on the bloody thing, look.

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Leave it.

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The dump was actually a much better

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workplace than I thought it would be.

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Like, I just love the hubbub of it.

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I love the drama of what goes where.

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I even love the sound of the wasps
buzzing around the bottle bank.

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And, you know,

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it's a great bunch of lads as well.
You've got Kimbo, Trigger.

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Even the boss Paul's a laugh,
you know?

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But my best mate, by far, is Griff.

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Hey, Griff, do me a demonstration.

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Get a piece of that tinsel
and stretch it out for me, will you?

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A one-metre-long piece of...

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Don't be silly with it.

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Stretch it out, come on.
You're better than that.

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When I first met Griff,
I wasn't totally sure about him,

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I mean, he's not a man of many words.

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But as I got to know him,

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yeah, I've found a great mate in Griff.

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You couldn't take that to white goods,
could you, Griff?

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Yeah.

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Lovely work.

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He's great at picking the stuff up,
chucking it in a container.

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I'm great at telling him
to pick the stuff up

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and chuck it in the container.

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And maybe in the olden times,

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we would've been in some sort of
travelling freak show,

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um, him being the side show,

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me being the bloke in the top hat
getting the money,

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making sure he's watered, fed, but he...
I'd take down the curtain,

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and he does his job for a few hours,
gets the punters in,

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but it works.

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It really works.

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Making a little special dinner
for tonight, for Kerry.

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I got steak, chips, and a mushroom
and peppercorn sauce.

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It's actually a recipe she chose,
I didn't pick it.

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I just came down and she'd left
the Hairy Bikers' cookbook

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with a steak and mushroom
and peppercorn sauce recipe,

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so I think it was sort of a hint
for me to cook it for her.

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But... yeah.

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Hi, Kayleigh.

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- Hiya. Sorry to bother you.
- No, no, no, no.

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- No bother at all.
- Your nan said you'd be here.

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Right.

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Do you wanna come in?

176
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No.

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So, how you been?

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Yeah. Yeah, not too bad.

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Up and down, really.

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Yeah. Yeah, I imagine.

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It's weird, because I thought about you
the other day, yeah,

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because I saw a little harvest mouse
on the front of a magazine.

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00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,400
Sort of reminded me of you a little bit.

184
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,280
Sure you don't wanna come in?

185
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Yeah. I just came to give you that.

186
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What's this?

187
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,840
It's a letter from Michael.

188
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,560
What, Slugs?

189
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,520
He left it to you in his will.

190
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Do you know what it's about?

191
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,280
No.

192
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,800
He didn't mention anything?

193
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,000
No.

194
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,280
All right.

195
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,520
I'd better go now.

196
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,600
OK.
Um, well, you know where I am if...

197
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,720
...any time you just wanna...

198
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,040
Still grieving, I think.

199
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,000
Not her usual self. That's scary.

200
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,440
My God!

201
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,640
My days.

202
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,480
Look at that!

203
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,040
All the lads!

204
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,600
That's Slugs.

205
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,040
Look how young he is.
That's me there.

206
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,840
That's Kirk, that's Kerry.

207
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,520
That is Darren Lacey
just behind Kerry there.

208
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:20,040
You can see his nose.
That? Don't know who that is.

209
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,320
That's a random, I think.

210
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,520
I think he just photo-bombed the picture.

211
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,200
Laugh. It's the sort of thing I'd do.

212
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,360
That's brilliant, that.

213
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,640
"Hey, Kurtan.

214
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:40,200
"If you're reading this letter,
it probably means I'm six feet deep,

215
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:44,000
"not with a chick this time, LOL,
just in the parish cemetery.

216
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:49,000
"So, you and Kerry were always
my best mates,

217
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:53,960
"but this might have been more to do
with radius rather than common values,

218
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,600
"interests, etc. Just saying, LOL.

219
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,560
"But anyway, the real reason
for writing this letter

220
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,120
"is to basically clear
my consci... conscience

221
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,840
"in case I get ID'd at the Pearly Gates...

222
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,360
"...because, basically, Kurtan,
I did a pretty shitty thing to you,

223
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,760
"and it's haunted me ever since.

224
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,440
"Do you remember Newquay 2007
and bed-gate?

225
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,720
"I'd be surprised
if you ever forgot it, to be fair.

226
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:31,880
"Well, just so you know, it wasn't you,
it was actually... me and Kerry."

227
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:39,920
Newquay 2007 was
our first holiday after school,

228
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,760
just the five of us.

229
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,720
It was meant to be
the best week of my life,

230
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,960
but turned out to be the worst,
you know?

231
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,600
And I always blamed myself
for what happened,

232
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,200
but now I just don't know
what to believe.

233
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,440
This still works.

234
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,880
I'll have that.

235
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,240
Yeah, it's mad the stuff
that people throw out, you know?

236
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:18,840
Good-quality unused stuff, and I know that
it's meant to go to the, um, charity shed,

237
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,800
but nobody gives a fuck.

238
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,760
What's that bowl in there?

239
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,880
Yeah, I'll have that.

240
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,720
I mean, I picked up the other day
a lovely humorous golf clock

241
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,280
for the vicar.

242
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,240
Every time it gets to 4 o'clock,

243
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,560
it goes, "Fore!", and he loved that.

244
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,720
And it was free, you know?

245
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,720
Why go Christmas shopping
when the dump is my John Lewis?

246
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,000
- Griff?
- Yeah?

247
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,600
Pop the boot open, will you?

248
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,040
There we go, there we go..

249
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,960
...Them bookshelves I never thought
would break down.

250
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,920
Griff's here,
if you could plate him up some grub.

251
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,000
Yeah, so come in.

252
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,320
Cheers.

253
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:32,920
Take a seat.

254
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,720
Yeah, Simple John was winding me up today.

255
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,800
- All right, guys?
- Yeah. All right?

256
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:42,960
- Yeah.
- Hello.

257
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,040
Both hungry, are you?

258
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,440
- Yeah.
- Starving.

259
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,440
- Starving.
- Perfect. Perfect...

260
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,680
...because you're not eating tonight,
unfortunately.

261
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,760
- What?
- No, I put your dinner in the bin.

262
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,120
- Why?
- What?

263
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,320
Why?

264
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,160
It's just because I don't cook
for two-faced nasty little liars.

265
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,080
What are you talking about?

266
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,640
This is what I'm talking about.

267
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,600
What's this?

268
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,640
A letter from Slugs.

269
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,000
Go on, then, tell me what happened.

270
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:25,720
He... Well, we all know
how big a fantasist Slugs was...

271
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,120
...and he's probably whacked off his nut
on all that morphine

272
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,760
he was on near the end
when he writ this.

273
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:36,320
Just tell me the truth, Kerry.

274
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,800
Fuck's sake.

275
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,240
We were bored.

276
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,000
That's all it was.

277
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:54,920
We were alone in the caravan because,
if you remember,

278
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,560
you, Darren Lacey and Kirk
were in the games room

279
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:02,560
chatting up those girls from Liverpool?
Remember that?

280
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:09,120
So Slugs had this whacky idea

281
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:13,640
that maybe we create a sort of

282
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:19,160
Takeshi's Castle in the living area,

283
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:23,680
- like an assault course, if you like.
- Yeah, just get on with it.

284
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,800
Um, and it sort of spilled out
to the bedrooms and...

285
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:32,080
...your bedroom was
part of the assault course

286
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,960
where you had to jump up and down.

287
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,240
- Was it?
- Up and down on the bed,

288
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:42,280
so that the top of your head touches
the top of the caravan roof.

289
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,280
And we're jumping up and down,
jumping up and down,

290
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,960
and then snap...

291
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,880
I looked down and the leg of the bed
had snapped in two,

292
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,240
and we panicked,

293
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:58,000
so we just kind of balanced the bed
back on it

294
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,360
and then hoped that maybe later

295
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,160
- you'd get in the bed...
- Yeah.

296
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,400
...and then it would collapse

297
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,200
and you'd go,
"I've broken my own bed."

298
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,880
Yeah. Well, you... you were right,
weren't you?

299
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,920
Because that's exactly what happened.

300
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,520
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

301
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,360
And as soon as I leant on it
and it broke,

302
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,960
guess who came piling in?

303
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,720
"Hey, everyone, come look
what Kurtan's done to his bed!"

304
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,520
I'm not proud of that, but I had to...

305
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,680
I had to throw the scent off.

306
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,040
I had to cut my holiday short,

307
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,720
because I had no money left after that.

308
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,680
And those girls from Liverpool,
they fancied me.

309
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,000
They didn't fancy Darren Lacey or Kirk.

310
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,360
- Still got with them, though.
- Yeah!

311
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,160
After I put in all the groundwork,
teasing them about their accent

312
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,920
and pushing them in the pool.

313
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,880
They should've got with me,

314
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,760
but, instead, I had to spend
the rest of that summer, right,

315
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,040
working in a sausage factory
with no air conditioning...

316
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:59,040
...paying for a broken bed
that I didn't even break.

317
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,400
Well, what's done is done, innit, Griff?

318
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,480
- Yeah.
- Can't hang on to the past.

319
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,440
You're a disgrace.

320
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,480
You're an absolute disgrace.

321
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,960
Sorry if you felt a bit awkward there.

322
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,000
Yeah.

323
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,440
Well, this is why it's so difficult

324
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,280
to be mates with Kurtan,
because he never lets anything go,

325
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,480
and I think that's why
I enjoy spending time with Griff,

326
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:39,080
because he's very low maintenance,
emotionally.

327
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,200
He's a simple beast.

328
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,880
And, you know, Kurtan still has a grudge
against Tesco

329
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,480
for the whole horse meat thing.

330
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,600
Who can even remember that?

331
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,680
Like, they apologised - get over it.

332
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,800
I shouldn't even be surprised.

333
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,600
As long as the world's been turning,
Kerry's been a back-stabbing user

334
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,080
that will chew you up and spit you out.

335
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,480
Her only loyalty is to herself, Staffies

336
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,000
and the TV channel Dave...

337
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:07,720
...which, in my opinion,

338
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:11,320
is a TV channel made by knuckle-draggers
for knuckle-draggers.

339
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,400
She's been sitting on that
since... all this time.

340
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,080
Dear.

341
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,400
And I am... Honestly, I don't even...

342
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,720
I don't even know what I'm gonna do yet,
but whatever it is,

343
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,840
it's gonna be the worst thing
I've ever done to her.

344
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,480
No, Kurtan, please,
I understand how you're feeling.

345
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,880
That anger,

346
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,640
we've all felt it from time to time,

347
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,320
but you mustn't act on it.

348
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,440
Think about...

349
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,280
OK, I'm going to say this -

350
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,240
think about Jesus.

351
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,080
Think about the Christian teachings
of forgiveness.

352
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,120
I just...

353
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,280
What would Jesus do in this situation?

354
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,920
He would turn the other cheek.

355
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,920
I tell you, if Jesus was in my position,

356
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:01,640
he'd be wreaking havoc back at Kerry,
I am telling you.

357
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,240
OK. Look, in the Hindu religion,

358
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,760
there is this concept of karma -

359
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,520
the universe will right itself,
you do not need to do anything.

360
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,080
Well, what do you mean?

361
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:18,600
Bad behaviour will have its comeback
somewhere along the line,

362
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,680
- but you need...
- Do you think?

363
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,680
- Yes, I do.
- Well, how long would that be?

364
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,400
No-one knows.

365
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,760
Just give it some time.

366
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,640
You have to rise above this, Kurtan.

367
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,320
- You're bigger than this.
- Yeah, I am. I am bigger than this.

368
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,360
You have so much more going on
in your life.

369
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,600
Yeah, I do.

370
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,040
You don't need to worry about something
that happened 12 years ago, Kurtan.

371
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,680
No, that's true.

372
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,120
That's true.

373
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,320
OK, so try and focus on
some positive things, because...

374
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:47,360
Yeah.

375
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,080
...this kind of revenge and anger
ultimately will get you nowhere.

376
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,360
No.

377
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,360
Fuck this.

378
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,320
I know I said I wouldn't stoop down
to her level,

379
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,240
but I can't be sitting around waiting
for karma to do its business.

380
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,640
I need results instantly, you know?

381
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,400
I can't move on till I've seeked revenge,
unfortunately.

382
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:45,080
Um, yes, I was just wondering
if I could talk to a supervisor, please.

383
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,000
I'm not proud of it, believe me.

384
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:52,360
But at the end of the day,
I'm a very vindictive person, you know?

385
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,600
It is what makes me me.

386
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,480
Kerry? Kerry?

387
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,120
12 stitches he had.

388
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,560
- All right?
- Yeah, yeah.

389
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,800
- Can I just borrow you a sec?
- Yeah, yeah, sure.

390
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,760
Hey, did you see Kimbo's thumb?

391
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,360
Yeah. Yeah, I did see it.

392
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,840
12 stitches he had in there.

393
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,080
- 12?
- Proper smashed it, like.

394
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,560
Come on in, take a seat.

395
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,080
Yeah.

396
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,400
Cheers.

397
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:27,600
Well, I'm afraid that there's been
a really serious allegation made.

398
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,680
Right.

399
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,760
I received an anonymous phone call
earlier today

400
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,800
suggesting that you've been taking
items from the charity shed

401
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,200
and then taking them home.

402
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,800
Something about a foot spa?

403
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:42,920
Is there any truth in that?

404
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,920
No. No truth in that.

405
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,400
I'd never take anything
from the charity shed.

406
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,120
I actually swear on my mum's life
that I would never do that,

407
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,040
I would never take
from a place of work, ever.

408
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,960
Well, we're gonna have to conduct
an investigation, Kerry.

409
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,000
Right, yeah, cos, um...

410
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:07,040
Now, this may or may not
be relevant, er...

411
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:13,720
...but you might wanna check
the boot of Griff's car.

412
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,120
Why is that?

413
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:17,960
Well, I just...

414
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,400
I'm...

415
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,080
The other day, right,

416
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:25,400
I overheard him, er, boasting about
getting stuff from the charity shed

417
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,960
and, er, putting it
in the boot of his car,

418
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,480
and it's only just now
that you've said that, it's triggered...

419
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,880
I'm putting the dots together
sort of thing.

420
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:37,200
Um, but, yeah, you... you should check
the boot of his car.

421
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,840
You actually overheard him say that?

422
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,720
I overheard him say that, yeah.

423
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,600
Well, I'm actually relieved, in a way,

424
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:49,440
because it means that he can, um,
get all the help he needs,

425
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,680
because he's in a bad way, I think.

426
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,320
He needs help. Definitely.

427
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,960
I think he's a proper klepto.

428
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,760
OK.

429
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,840
Yes, I did want that money back,

430
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,760
but some things are more important
than money, you know?

431
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,240
People need to pay the price
for the bad things they've done

432
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,400
or they'll just keep doing them.

433
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,480
Bring back the old justice system,
that's what I say,

434
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:13,960
and it will sort out

435
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,600
a lot of other problems
wrong with this country,

436
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,120
like some of our leading supermarkets
putting horse meat in their pies.

437
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,040
If that was in France, that would be fine,
but we're not in France.

438
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,600
We're in the UK, OK?

439
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,320
No... No work for me today.

440
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:49,360
Paul Walthers rang to say
that he's concluded his investigation

441
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,200
and his conclusion is,

442
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,920
he's sacking me,

443
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,200
which is a shame...

444
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,320
...and he's sacking Griff too,
which is also a shame.

445
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,720
Yeah, I can't help but feel
a tiny bit responsible for that.

446
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,520
But, you know,
Griff just texted me now saying,

447
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,600
"Do you wanna meet at the pub for a pint?"

448
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,320
But what would we talk about?

449
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:14,840
You know? The only thing we had in common,
really, was stealing,

450
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,800
and that was more my thing
that I got him onto.

451
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,600
But it just goes to show, you know,
some friendships last

452
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,560
and some friendships don't,

453
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,200
but that's just the way it is.

454
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,240
- All right?
- All right?

455
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:40,800
Yeah. This is for you.

456
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,120
What's this?

457
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,240
The money I owe you.

458
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,400
From my last wage packet.

459
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,280
This is too much.

460
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:53,080
Yeah, it's for... to pay sort of,
like, for the bed in Newquay as well.

461
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:54,920
Right.

462
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,240
- All right. Cheers.
- That's all right.

463
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,280
You know it was me
that got you sacked, don't you?

464
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,440
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well...

465
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,080
Sorry.

466
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,800
What's done is done.

467
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,240
You know that decomposing fox?

468
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,880
- Yeah.
- Its face has finally caved in,

469
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,520
if you wanted to check it out.

470
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,040
Yeah, all right.

471
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,440
Just give me a sec, I'll get a jacket.

472
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,280
- Ready?
- Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.

473
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,520
That's madness.

474
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,240
The thing I learnt about friendship is,

475
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:50,480
you gotta accept each other's flaws,
no matter how toxic they may be.

476
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,520
- Come on, Lard!
- No, do it properly this time, please.

477
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,040
I tell you who'd be laughing at all this.

478
00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,760
Who?

479
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,400
Slugs.

480
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:02,680
Yeah.

481
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,360
He proper pulled our pants down,
to be fair, didn't he?

482
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,520
Shit-stirring from beyond the grave.

483
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,440
That's annoying, actually,
thinking about it.

484
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,320
Just goes to show
that people don't change...

485
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,800
...even in death.

486
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,480
Very funny.

486
00:26:30,305 --> 00:27:30,444
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